#95 : happy, shall we ?

i always think that i'm a happy person. always smiling, always laughing, telling a joke. eventhough i have a 'jutek' face, i always thought that i'm a happy person. and i thought that people around me are thinking the same. but, turned out that i was wrong.

yesterday, i have a small chit chat with mba Ifah, a colleague. she told me that the first time she saw me, she saw a skinny young girl with dark skin. and grumpy face. i was surprised, since i remember that i always tried to put smile. at that time, was the hardest time. i was disappointed and angry. really had no spirit at all. the only thing i cared about is when we're going home. 

i was in that stage for several months.

and in the end, i realized. that the only one ended tired is me. people say that fresh graduate is usually still idealistic about their company. so was i. but nobody say anything about what should we do, if the company is not that ideal. angry ? write a letter to HR ? or to media ? i was angry. i was... membangkang. giving out bad impression. being lazy. i thought it would make HR reviewing my CV again. yes, i'm not happy with the job.

in the end, i realized. that yes, happiness is a state of mind. mom said i have to be more grateful. and if i look it from the other side, i must say i'm blessed.

i work with people that so down to earth. they have family. they have dreams. have something they like. or dislike. sometimes they go lazy. sometimes not. come early once, come late the other day. craving for snack every 3 pm. buzzing about diet. or bazaar in ground floor.

these people are just like me. and they treat me well.

and i promise to myself, i have to be happy and happier every single day. bad day will come for sure, but better and happier day will always follow.

a customer angry at me today. she accused me being stupid or something. i hate her. i cried in silence. her words was so cruel.

but after that, my colleague comes and bring me some risoles. and we chatted a little, about bags and shoes. and after that, i totally forgot that grumpy silly customer.

oh how wonderful life is when we see it with happy eyes.

i'm in the middle of trial to be more patient, more happy.

oh please, smile to me guys. why are you so serious :p.

let us back to silly stupid stories, shall we ? :D

aaaanyway, this bag from Ciciero is so tempting. *colek pacar*

so, smell you later, people :D

* i'm not trying to give bad image to my company. i just wanna say that, no matter where you work are, if you don't feel happy, you won't be happy. not the company, but ourselves.

** mba Ifah said that i look happier now. always smiling. and my skin gets whiter. and i get fatter. *sigh*

*** i miss my man so much. *very deep sigh*